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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28520934">Last Will and Temperament</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You/pseuds/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You'>Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Things You Can Ignore [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, Toby Smith | Tubbo and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, also Tubbo, boot to the head, the boot to the head one, this is that but dream smp, with the will reading, you guys know that skit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:22:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>565</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28520934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You/pseuds/Just_Trying_To_Get_Around_You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Technoblade has finally kicked the bucket, but he’s getting some petty revenge from beyond the grave.</p>
<p>Don’t take this seriously guys</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Things You Can Ignore [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089263</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Last Will and Temperament</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is the actual name of the sketch.</p>
<p>Dedicated to the murder fic discord, y’all know who you are &lt;3</p>
<p>Also, best experienced if you are familiar with the sketch already, so read it here: http://dmdb.org/lyrics/last.will.html</p>
<p>Or find it on YouTube here, for the best experience: https://youtu.be/-V1Mn5-xF0w</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> As the executor of Technoblade’s estate, I have been empowered to read Technoblade’s Last Will And Testament.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh Techno! Waaaa!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh, there, there, Tubbo.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> God, how predictably boring.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">PHILZA:</span> <span class="s2"> I never worked with a kinder man.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> I knew it.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Heh heh heh heh.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "I, Technoblade, being of sound mind and body..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> That's a laugh!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional brother, Tubbo..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Waaaa!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Tubbo he's talking about you.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...who grubbed with my other brother, Tommy, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> What?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...To Tubbo, I leave a boot to the head."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> A what?</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Ow!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Tubbo, are you okay?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...and another boot to my wimpy brother, Tommy."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Ow!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Hahahahaha...</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> This is an outrage!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...ah, but still, you are my brothers, you have both admired my trident, and since I no longer need it..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh, dear Techno, he's too kind!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Yeah.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...I bequeath another boot to the head."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> What?</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Ow!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Hahahaha...</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And one more for the wimp."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Ow!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "Next, to my alcoholic acquaintance..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...to Schlatt, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> I'm coverin' up my head!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest potions."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Really?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And a boot to the head."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> OH!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And another for Tubbo and the wimp."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh!</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Ow!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "Next, to my know-it-all twin brother, Wilbur..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> This is so predictable...</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...I leave a boot to the head."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> Uh! I knew it.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And one for Tubbo and the wimp."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> Ah!</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> OH!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "This takes care of most family and other obligations. And now, to Philza Minecraft..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">PHILZA:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "...who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">PHILZA:</span> <span class="s2"> Oh, I didn't mind.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "To Phil, I bequeath a boot to the head."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">PHILZA:</span> <span class="s2"> OH!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And one for Tubbo and the wimp."</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TUBBO:</span> <span class="s2"> AH!</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> OH!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And so, to my horse Carl, I leave my entire vast...boot to the head!"</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">NEIGH!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head...but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Ooohhh!! Oh, huh huh huh huh, and, and, "...and I leave my entire estate of 10 million diamonds to the people of L’manberg so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Huh.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Is that it?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> That's it?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> That's disgraceful.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> There's one last thing for everyone.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Cover your heads, everybody!</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream."</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">TOMMY:</span> <span class="s2"> Ice cream?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">SCHLATT:</span> <span class="s2"> Ice cream?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">WILBUR:</span> <span class="s2"> Ice cream, that's all?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> That's all.</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">PHILZA: </span> <span class="s2">Well, what flavor is it?</span></p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">BAD:</span> <span class="s2"> Boot to the head!</span></p>
<p class="p3">
  <em> <span class="s4">BONK! BONK! BONK! BONK!</span> </em>
</p>
<p class="p3"><span class="s3">ALL:</span> <span class="s2"> OW!</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well that was a thing</p>
<p>Follow my Tumblr @kikiofthevast for slightly more serious content</p></blockquote></div></div>
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